St. Valentine was an early priest in Rome who was martyred on February 14th in the year 269. The celebration of St. Valentine’s Day has been celebrated by the church since the fifth century. He has been celebrated as the patron saint of courtly love since the high middle ages. In the present day, it is celebrated as a day of romance.
This brings me to the issue of romance and love. Today, love is considered in many contexts: love and marriage; love and friendship; love and sex; and love and sexual orientation. There are many ways that people show love, and the acceptable ways continue to expand. But I cannot understand is why people can profess love and still abuse the focus of their love: jealousy; physical abuse; metal abuse; emotional abuse; and even, in the extreme, murder. If you say you love someone how can you participate in such things. I think that answer is that there is a lack of respect.
I do not understand this lack of respect. I cannot understand how true love can happen and be sustained without respect. Interesting word that, “respect”. It conjures up many reactions to things, respect for; a person; a belief; an opposing viewpoint; a religion; a political position; and many others. But the thing about respect in the context of love of another is that it cannot be partial. “I respect your intelligence” is not good enough. You must respect everything about the person. Otherwise, you cannot call it true love. If you really respect someone you could not bring yourself to abuse them, cheat on them, or denigrate them. You would not refer to them as “the old boot” or “the deadbeat”.
Is that a tall order? You may ask “How do I show respect?” There is not list of things that you have to do or not do in order to demonstrate respect. It is not a check list. Respect is an attitude. It is an attitude that guides all of your actions and reactions toward the person that you say you love. It is an everyday thing. Can you respect someone that you don’t love? Of course. Can you love someone you don’t respect? Absolutely not.
So, are you feeling love and respect this Valentine’s Day? I know that I love and respect my wife. And I think, other than the times that I spend writing these inane blogs, that she loves and respects me too.
Gord, I am with you but remember we are dealing with people and that involves irrationality. Think of the many women who suffer at the hands of brutal, thoughtless men but many stay with them. It starts with the children. I shudder at times at the indulgence of bad behaviour, and yes the lack of respect, I see all too often from parents. If one is raised to believe anything goes and is permissible, then it follows that the attitude you describe is getting rarer. I remember another generation worrying about the 'permissible society' and its long term effects. They were right and we are seeing the outcome now.
ReplyDeleteFWIW